Big Rock Candy Mountain

The official voice of the Deseret Liberation Organization

Lawmakers debate bill regulating hobo-poop

The University is finally starting work on a bill designed to prevent deranged bums from wandering into portions OSH or the law school and making doodies all over everything. The administration says its bill would allow the campus cops to keep “disruptive persons” off of campus for “extended periods of time. Getting rid of the TRAX-hobo menace is quite a problem for Police Chief Scott Folsom:

There have been a number of people on campus that cause disturbances. It has become problematic. We have been struggling to find a solution to properly handle them.

A good starter would be either getting rid of buses and trains or euthanizing the homeless, but neither of those are legal or ethical. As a result, we are stuck using vague language to argue for a vaguely worded bill that will likely do nothing to stop that weird old person from hitting on you after chemistry. Balls.

[Daily Utah Chronicle]


Filed under: Utah Politics,

One Response

  1. hoboduke says:

    There is a world of difference green horn, comparing a “bum” to a hobo. Bums are squatters (literally) that hang out in alleys and poach on passerby or crimes of opportunity.
    Hoboes travel in search of work, after losing all chances of working near what used to be home. Expect to see more hoboes with the current unemployment shoving people out of homes and jobs.

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