Big Rock Candy Mountain

The official voice of the Deseret Liberation Organization

A Defense of Snark

In response to a book that is mean, personal, and ruining our conversation, Eilleen Jones has penned a stirring defense of the Next Generation of Writers:

By the end of the book, which is very short but seems long, we’re stuck with this conclusion: snark occurs every time someone says or writes something mean that David Denby doesn’t happen to admire, agree with, or find amusing. Because more and more people say and write such things, and the internet provides such a fast, furious forum for it, “it’s ruining our conversation.” Whose conversation? Not Western Civilization’s so much as Denby and his pals’.

Denby’s bizarre tome on snark reminds me of Dawkins’s definition of a “viral meme” and most post-Greenberg definitions of “kitsch.” Jones, on the other hand, snarkily snarkifies until our children are destroyed by the atheistic Jewish homosexuals.

I do have some complaints. Jones’s proclamation of Dowd as the “queen of snark” is preposterous for a multitude of reasons:

  1. Maureen Dowd (from now on mentioned as Dowd) writes for the New-York Times, a liberal shitrag primarily known for announcing the weddings of prominent Manhattan Jews and WASPs, which also is NOT a web-blog or alternative weekly;
  2. Dowd has proven herself unable to gain much affection from the snark-based community, as evidenced by this brilliant study from the International Institute for the Advancement of Ken Layne’s Career;
  3. Dowd is neither facetious, clever, nor abhorrent;
  4. Though she seems to put no thought into her columns, they still end up better than Kristol’s. A true snarkette would give absolutely no effort to any of her pursuits.
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