Big Rock Candy Mountain

The official voice of the Deseret Liberation Organization

My choices for Obama cabinet

Unfortunately, Saiyans are constitutionally barred from cabinet-level positions

Unfortunately, Saiyans are constitutionally barred from cabinet-level positions

We all know that he won’t pick any of these people because he wants all the pigs who gave us the problems we have to manage his administration for some reason. And he’ll pick a Republican for SecDef because that way he will ensure we get into a stupid war, and that’s what all other Democrats do.

Anyway, here are my endorsements:

  1. TREASURY: Sheila Bair. She is the only one on BO’s short list that isn’t a crook and/or massive failure. Also she has written a children’s book. And has the same sex chromosomes as the Hillary supporters. But he will probably appoint Larry Summers or someone else who caused the crisis.
  2. DEFENSE: Richard J. Danzig. A Democrat. BO can put a Republican somewhere less important in the administration. He is pretty radd. Also he is not Robert Gates. The only thing worse than more of Gates would be more Paulson or Larry Summers.
  3. STATE: Probably Richardson. Not the ideal candidate, but much better than the other mentioned people. 95% of Americans hate John Kerry and Hillary Clinton and any of those Clintonites. Susan Rice is pretty interesting, though.
  4. HOMELAND SECURITY: Either Lee Hamilton or Gary Hart. With a forty-something black man in the white house, we must ensure that old white men are not underrepresented. Also I saw Hamilton the other day on campus. Two congressmen in one day. Can’t get that down south.
  5. ATTORNEY GENERAL: Janet Napolitano. She is radd. And from Arizona. Barry should be nice to Walnuts by sparing him someone who otherwise would cream him in a 2010 Senate race.
  6. SECRETARY OF ENERGY: Ernest J. Moniz. MIT physicist with super-radd hair who has done a buttload of work on sustainabilty, alt-energy, etc.
  7. HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES: Sebelius or Dean. Any cool governor, really. At least one who won’t try to ban condoms, like Utah’s Mike O. Leavitt.
  8. EDUCATION: I know it is probably one of the most important, but I really don’t know much about experts. Probably that guy from New York. I guess
  9. HUD: Valerie Jarrett. She was pretty good on the teevee on Sunday.
  10. INTERIOR: Brian Schweitzer. He is from Montana. I want him to serve another term, but he would be radd. Mark Udall is another radd posibility. I met him once. But I want him to serve in the Senate first. Everybody cool needs to finish their current job, it’s sad…
  11. LABOR: Linda Chavez-Thompson. Seems that she and Gephardt are the only ones who don’t want to make our country a “right to work” (ie. “right to die in a mine” or “right to inadequate pay”) nation.
  12. TRANSPORTATION: Heminger. He is in charge of BART and MUNI. The trains in Frisco work pretty well. He can stay.
  13. VA: Tammy Duckworth. Leading in CQ’s polls and I know next to nothing about veterans affairs. I will trust my fellow wonks to know what is right.
  14. EPA: Kathy McGinty and Cristine Gregoire would both be pretty good choices. I love reading his books about environmental law, but RFK, Jr. may be too partisan. You know the GOP would hate his pop and Uncle Jack the way they hate Ted were they not dead.
  15. OMB: Again, I don’t know much about financial policy. Maybe Peter R. Orszag because he is leading the CQ Poll.
  16. AGRICULTURE: Tom Vilsack. It’s either him, the dude who wrote The Omnivore’s Dilemma, or William Jennings Bryan.
  17. COMMERCE: Austan Goolsbee. Seems to rely on numbers more than economic ideology. Also pretty young and radd.

I believe that is it. Be sure to read Naomi Klein’s article about how Summers would be a horrible pic.


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